Feeling kinda trapped

So I sit here and wonder why my life is the way it is. Why my son isn't here with me as well as my other baby (that I miscarried a week after I got married). I want a baby more than anything and I just don't see it happening again, and that breaks my heart more and more everyday.The reason for me writing this is because my brother lost his little girl in December 2004 at 2 1/2 months old and he now has a healthy baby boy on the way due in September. Two of my cousins both have babies that are now a year old. It's like everywhere I look people have babies or are fixing to have babies and I want so bad for that to be me. I just feel like this isn't how my life is suppose to be. I feel that I am suppose to have children and that's one thing in my life that I have always wanted. Well I will end this pity fest for now lol but I just felt I needed to get it out.

Max and other updates

Max is doing better, he's eating/drinking. He does sleep a lot but it's good for him and he used to do that before he was sick too lol. Andrew is getting ready to leave for New Jersey on the 13th but he comes back on the 14th. I think it's stupid that he gets to go only for one day but it's the military so what are you gonna do lol. Then next month he's going on tdy again but to Korea this time for a week. It was 2 weeks but they changed it. I'm not sure what I am going to do while he's in Korea but it will probably be staying at home because Max isn't aloud around other dogs for like 2 months. We will be getting me a new car probably shortly after he gets back from Korea but I wish it was before then because the only car we have is a manual and I can't drive it so therefore I have to walk to the store(which isn't to bad) but if something happens while he's gone like a hurricane or something that way I will have to call his parents who are 3 hours away to come get me and Max (thank god they give you at least a 12 hour notice that you need to evacuate. Well I think that's about it for right now.

First post

This is my first blog on here. I used to blog some on xanga but haven't been there in a while. I figured I would start a new one and hopefully remember to keep it updated lol.